I have always admired the tone, transparency, and written record aspect of Wayne Hale’s blog, and while much of what I do at NASA can’t be shared or tweeted about in real time because my work relates to what we call “predecisional” topics (budgets, contracts, etc.), I have intended for a long time to write publicly in a longer-form and more customizable fashion than Twitter threads or LinkedIn posts allow. I am in a dream job with an amazing team working on the first permanent piece of human spaceflight infrastructure around the Moon, and I want to record our/my journey. It’s just funny that I’m starting with this first post on a somewhat sad and personal topic.
I am a bit of a workaholic. Which is why I was doing research on a beautiful October Sunday afternoon about process documentation at NASA related to my discipline, called Program Planning & Control (PP&C). It is honestly an ill-defined term or something that means different things to different NASA communities, and I have a future blog post in mind to explain what it really means at least within the Gateway Program.
In 2013, at NASA’s now defunct Virtual Program Management Challenge event, Lucy Kranz (yes, daughter of legendary Flight Director Gene Kranz) presented about PP&C along with two esteemed colleagues who now hold high management positions at the Agency. At the time, Lucy held my current Gateway position with Orion – she was Manager, Program Planning and Control, Orion/Multipurpose Crew Vehicle Program. In response to a question about integrated analysis and the application of systems thinking to PP&C, part of Lucy’s response was: “Capable personnel, with intuition and curiosity, integrating data across functional interfaces are the most successful in [next generation] PP&C.” (Source) That sentence resonated with me… mostly – I completely agree with the importance of curiosity in this line of work and believe a curious mind can overcome many obstacles within the PP&C disciplines. I wondered about intuition… that was bothering me somehow and I thought of many words I’d prefer to partner with curiosity – teamwork, diligence? Was intuition too similar to curiosity? No – they are not the same, and each is very important in your professional and personal lives… as I learned the hard way because as I was wondering about this, it turns out I was actively ignoring my own intuition.
In September 2022 I flew to Paris, France for the world’s largest space conference. After arrival I experienced some intense pain in my calves – particularly my right calf – that I chalked up to walking miles around a conference venue and beautiful city in high heels after I hadn’t worn heels for almost the entirety of the first two years of COVID. I got home to Houston, wondered about an ultrasound, and it got better. Fast forward nearly a month and my right lower leg suddenly swelled up with a significant amount of pain. I knew what this indicated and what I needed to do, but the possibility seemed so slim given the passage of time. I deferred and put other priorities, like work, first. On Sunday night I took myself to an emergency room and an ultrasound confirmed my initial suspicions – DVT.
As a manager and a leader, I have a few core tenets. One is health and happiness first, always. (I will share how this relates to leadership lessons from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in a future post!)
I expect my crew to know that I will put them and their needs first, and we can figure anything out in terms of timelines and deliverables. But I very rarely apply this to myself or practice boundary-setting. Two things had finally convinced me to go to the ER – a friend’s recent Facebook post about DVT and pulmonary embolism, and my dog MECO uncharacteristically being glued to my side and sniffing at my leg.
My dog MECO, trying to tell me something.
This was a real wake up call for me to listen to my own intuition, so I hope that sharing this is helpful for someone out there down the line.
I’ll end with a few reflections and lessons learned:
Listen to your instincts, that little voice in your head!
Lucy was right – intuition and curiosity are critical to great analysis. But the best comes from that plus teamwork.
While they weren’t the culprit, I still won’t be wearing stilettos to conferences anytime soon. I would appreciate recommendations for stylish yet supportive flats!